they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
