So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
