Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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