Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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