He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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