Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
