so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
