My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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