Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Randomize
