I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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