Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
