I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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