So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
