If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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