drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
