well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
