This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
