but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
