so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
