Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i now understand why vodka
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
