I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
