"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
