She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
