im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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