What did we do last night that was yellow?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
should my penis look like a turkey
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i now understand why vodka
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
