Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
