There was a lot of him and a little penis
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
