we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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