what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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