flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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