love makes seman taste better
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
