The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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