how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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