Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
