I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
