So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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