He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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