I must be too annoying 4 u.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
