Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
