This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
