Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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