im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
