Already got asked if we're dating
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
