My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
