it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
