Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
