I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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