drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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