ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
