Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
