I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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